Alright, the bike pump is ready and the hose is in the place of your choice. Ready to pump yourself up?
Pump, pump, pump, your belly, chest, and butt swell up a bit, with your belly peeking out from under your shirt. More?
Pump, pump, pump, pump, now your clothes strain and rip. Good thing your undies are stretchier, because you can kinda see them as your clothes tear bit by bit. More?
Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump…! Your clothes rip off into confetti and your undies strain, your belly nearly touches the ground and your chest rests on top of it, not to mention your ass would make a Kardashian green with envy. Bigger?
Pump, pump, pump, pump! Your undergarments eventually blast off of your body, and you fall onto your tremendous butt, bouncing a bit. You have trouble reaching the pump… want me to help, or are you good?
I grab the pump and continue blowing you up, though I do apologize for pumping a bit fast, since well… you begin to fill up more and more of the room. In fact, I had to step back to see your belly peeking out of the door!
Pump, pump, pump, pump! The room explodes into debris, but I quickly clean you up before resuming the inflation. You start to get as big as the house as I pump away.
Pump, pump, pump, what an eager blimp! The town starts to evacuate, startled by the unknown blimp mass that keeps swelling and smothering houses. Your ass and tummy rule over the neighborhood!
Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump…! You start to a much more buildings over time, it seems like your belly and butt crush more towns as your chest pierces the heavens! Good thing the flights got delayed so no one flies into you! You’re smothering a whole state!
Pump, pump, pump, pump…! My arms are getting kinda tired, so let’s take a break… whew! Say, is your belly touching some water! Oh! The whole country is being smothered! I think your butt’s on the border of another country too. Is this big enough for you?
After my break, it’s back to pumping! Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump…! Well, uh… it seems like a quarter of the planet is being smothered now. Your belly is going north and your butt is going south. Should we keep going?
Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump…! Whew, okay…! I think I hear faint creaking… seems like you’re so huge, the hemisphere is being smothered and edges of your rump are visible to the other side…! But, uh… are YOU satisfied?
Pump, pump, pump…! Your body floats away from Earth, and starts to orbit the Sun! And it seems like you have new super powers that give you heat and oxygen so you can survive space! Is… is this a little much? And that creaking is getting a little louder… we might need a break.
Pump, pump, pump, pump… pump… Okay… y-you’re as big as the sun now. S-sorry, I’m just nervous because… I hear creaking from you and it seems like you’re turning a little more red… c-can we stop now?
Pump, pump… pump… pump… I’m scared… y-you’re creaking so loudly and you look red, a-and while it’s nice you’re the double the size of the sun now, I’m… starting to think you’re at your limit.
… no. I’m not pumping you any bigger. I don’t want you to pop.
No! I don’t want to pop you! I… I hate popping stuff!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Hah! You can’t even reach the pump! I’ll kick it into space and… wait, what if it lands on you and…! Oh no!
… okay, I caught it. I didn’t kick it high enough.
NO DON’T!!! *I quickly push my mouth on yours, inhaling to keep you from swallowing that bit of air in a desperate attempt to keep you from popping yourself*
